Fear Farm Academy
Seymour Phear's plan to home-school his 12 brothers and sisters has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Report to the headmaster's office at once; your punishment awaits! See the twisted teachings of the anatomy class and, if you have the stomach, sample today's mystery meat in the cafeteria - Pork? Turkey? ???Everyone gets teased a little bit in school, but this has gone way too far …
Fear Farm Academy, Haunted House at Clayton Fear Farm …do you dare???
No one knows where Seymour Phear found Harmin Peeples, or why he made him headmaster of Phear Academy. Some say he actually built him from the parts of those he slaughtered, a Frankenstein's monster made for schoolin' naughty children. No matter: you'd better follow the headmaster's rules, though we're certain he doesn't have your best interests at heart!
Belly up to our buffet of fear. It's good for you - don't mind the stench. And don't ask too many questions. Phear Academy serves only the finest cuts of freshly butchered, exotic meats. Eat all you want; we know where to get more …
Fall out for P.E.! Exercise builds tasty … umm, healthy bodies. Bullies hiding in the locker room? Absolutely not! No one is ever bullied at Phear Academy. Traumatized, maybe. Mortally wounded, occasionally. The games we play build character. You have nothing to fear but Phear itself!
It's the spring formal - where so many Phears met their one true love, until death so gruesomely did them part! What happened here as midnight struck is simply too shocking to tell. But it's no reason to stop the party: Grab up your partner - a torso here, a loose limb there - and let's dance!
Phear Academy is proud of the scholars it has produced in the science of life - and death. (Unfortunately, our graduates tend to specialize in the darker end of the field!) What do you think you know about organisms? Class is about to begin, and we have some lessons they never dreamed of teaching at your school.
Ol' Seymour always liked to teach this class himself, for some reason. And he always promised lots of hands-on learnin'. They say was the most popular class at Phear Academy! They say lots of things about classes at Phear Academy …
Today they call it "in-school suspension" - those sorry little Phear boys referred to it as "homeroom" - but detention at Phear Academy wasn't your daddy's study hall. Seymour Phear believed in punishment. Inquisition-style punishment. Horror movie punishment. What in the world have you done to deserve this!
Where's your Hall Pass?
Somebody's not where she's supposed to be! Look out for the Hall Monitor - this is power in the hands of a craven, dastardly fool. The halls of Phear Academy are hellish, not hallowed, and though traveling them is a must, it's not for anyone who values their sanity, or their life!
We call it Classroom X because, since the authorities closed down Phear Academy, no one has ever made it all the way down this corridor. Who knows what unspeakable "lessons" Harmin Peeples' minions "taught" behind that closed door. Somehow its horror lingers to this day, infecting even the hallway outside. Don't go down there.